Joining in the MckMama blog carnival today. A chance to unload, pull back the curtain, reveal who you are truly (not) to the world.

I am not obsessed with the flu. IF I ever thought of it, it would certainly not be 1 of every 10 thoughts I had. No, I believe in living life, not fearing it. So, today, when the most lucious chocolate cake was brought to work, I did not turn it down for fear of the germies baked into it. Who is that obsessive!

And, speaking of my complete openness to all things germy, I have not stopped biting my fingernails. After 31 years of chewing on my digits, something as simple as the threat of growing a pig nose (swine flu - kidding) or hacking up a precious lung would NOT compel me to make life-altering changes. But, if I did stop biting my nails, there's no way I'd go around showing everyone my still-short nails while beaming a wide, proud smile - oh, and scratching people because I can.

As the caring Auntie that I am, there is no way that I would ever harrass my neice and cause her stress. Even is she said, "Shtuck" so cute in her little 17-month-old voice to the point that I felt compelled to keep her "Shtuck" by holding her tight ... nope, I'd never do that. And, if I did, I'd certainly let go before her frustration turned to real tears.

I'm picking out paint colors for my house. It's amazing to me how laid back I am about this choice. In fact, it was not me this week who went to a local furniture store 5 times in as many days to bother 3 different employees about a color on the wall. I mean, I know furniture stores are for buying furniture, right, not for picking paint colors. Even if I were annoying, I wouldn't have been annoying enough to get someone to take me to the back where the paint is stored to compare my paint chips to the overspill on the paint cans. I SO have more of a life than to be that extreme. (If I had done all of that, surely I would have chosen that paint color when I tested it at my house. Who would go to all that trouble and not even use that paint color? Not me.)

Lastly, I have never given to KLOVE's pledge drive. The spiritual stories meant to be tear-jerkers don't strike a chord with me, so it was not me when they said thanks to "Ashley, from Arkansas." And, if you heard that, I want you to know my turning point was certainly not the pirate accent that Scott used to encourage everyone to become a "buck-a-day-er." Being compelled to give because of a pirate accent rather than stories of near-suicides averted would never be a tactic that would compel a professional fundraiser to give to a cause.

That's my NOT-ME MONDAY! Enjoy!

I'm addicted to Mck something. Nope, not McDonalds, but a very special MckFamily. I've been praying for Stellan and reading MckMama's blog for over a month now. She's such a great story teller, and today, I'm adapting her "Not Me! Monday" for a little humor. Read on, you'll understand...

When packing to come to my sister's house Friday, I most certainly did not put dirty underwear in a plastic sack to wash when I get here. I would NEVER be so out of underwear to stoop to that level.

My nephew did not learn to tell people to "Chill it" from me. Nope, not me. I only teach kids uplifting things to say.

I would always look between the steps of taking off a diaper and putting a child in the bath, so it's impossible that it was me that put my nephew in the bath with poopy on his booty. Thankfully, he did not sit down before i realized it (double-negative not in effect for last sentence - don't freak out, germaphobes!)

I am so attentive in meetings, I can't imagine any situation in which I'd nod off on a conference call. So if you asked me a question that I couldn't answer, it couldn't be because I was taking a snooze.

Hot Tamales and Corn nuts for breakfast today - not me! I'm too healthy.

And last but not least, I'm way too kind to tell my sister's child mean thing about her, so it clearly wasn't me who told him - on Mother's Day, mind you - that answered his question, "Why is Mommy making that noise?" (she was sleeping and breathing very deeply) with "because she's a dinosaur" knowing he had just told her earlier in the week that "dinosaurs are scawy." I would never stoop so low as to win a few minutes of favor over Mommy by telling him such things. On Mother's day!

Whew! What a week. And I didn't even start collecting my Not Me's! until Friday.

How about you? Want to join in the Not Me! Monday fun? Just blog about what you did not, could not, should not have done. It's fun to tell on yourself.

Oh, and one last tiny little not me. I DID NOT turn thrity(one)flirtyandthriving last week. Instead, I've decided to go backward, so I'm twenty(nine)someone again!

So, yeah. Internet dating. Hmmm. VERY interesting. It's at least providing me with entertainment these days. I've had "propositions," weird conversations about how stress affects me (in the first three lines of IM, mind you), and been told that I'm the most beautiful woman he's dreamed of (again, in the 2nd email, without knowing my name). What an illusion. Really, finding love through technology is such an odd idea. For the time being, it's entertainment. And no lectures about being safe. Really, do you all know me if you think you have to tell me that. I'm the same person who got hit on in a gas station, Jiffy Lube and Wal-Mart parking lot and was STILL not tempted to give even my cell number out.

Okay. So I still exist. Do you? I know Berit does, but I put on my best glasses and stared out at Xanga and only Berit peered back. If my best online dating stories don't lure you in, I might decide Xanga is dead for me too.

Leave me some love!!